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I can think about him and not get emotional. Where in the past I use to cry. That's progress to me! I think I'm gonna be single for a while and work on myself. I know I got looks but, I need personality and drive as well. I would like to find the one someday and I know I will. Takes time and hard work. I feel more alive and interactive! This is a great time to be alive. Well kids until next time.

Well kids these past few weeks have been inspiring ones. For one, I think I am finally over Hector! Granted, I did call him a lot and, I think he is salty at me for cutting him off but I cant take being friends with him! How can I be friends with someone who hurt me and showed no remorse? Plus, he knew I wanted to be with him again and used it to his advantage. No more! I'm not a sex toy! Plus, I didn't want to be in heartache for years to come. So, I became a recluse. Doing positive affirmations and critical thinking and personal reflections. Also, used my crystals which are Obsidan, Sodalite, Rose Quartz and Amethyst. They really helped me to feel better. My self-esteem and confidence is progressing and I am healing past issues. I feel motivated and inspired. I have much to look forward to. I feel like im 75% over Hector. Which is great considering how in love I was with him. It's really hard to let him go but I gotta move on. No sense in wanting someone who doesn't want me! And, I can think about him and

As a parting gift, he let me burn my itines library into Cd's so I would have my music. Because I have a lot of Darkwave music and "Gothic", also metal and 80's tunes. I told him to please erase my number and if I call or text you simple don't answer. He kept his word so far. Its painful but necessary for me. I have to move on and progress. So far, I been at home working out and listening to music. Nothing exciting. I'm not looking for love at this time. I'll leave it up to God. I'm so bored at home. Also, i'm broke he he. So in my downtime I practice my taort cards, I read and work on my body. I slipped on ly diet today I ate some cookie dough lol. But, I'll work out today. I feel like my arms and legs are getting smaller. I don't want to lose my hips or booty lol. So we'll see how it works out. Later kids.

I did apologize and I realized, I wasn't ready for a relationship and simply, I was not attracted to this guy anymore. He took it bad. He told me he cried and still wanted to work things out with me but, I knew that could never be. So, I bowed out gracefully. I texted him a few times afterwards but he didn't want to text me after what happened so we cut communication. I don't feel bad thing happen. Now, dealing with Hector we still saw each other but I realized things would never be the same between us. As much as I tried and put forth effort, I realized we would never be together again. He even told me so. Finally, I put an end to me and Hector for good this time. Previous attempts I tried I always went back out of love and desperation. I really did love him but, what's done is done and it seems I couldn't get over him sleeping with that Betsy girl. That issue burns me. Then againI realize its karma for all the things I did in the past which was way worse. So, I accepted me and him were thru and I moved on.

Well kids school is out! Thought I did bad in school but it was the opposite, great for me. I got straight A's which I am proud about! That would make the third time since I started school in 2008. Now that that's out the way, summer has been really boring for me. First, that guy I told you I was with,a broke up with him. Wanna know why? Well, it was quite simple. I figured out that I was more attracted to his personality than his appearance. We made out and had sex and afterwards, I became disgusted.. Truth be told, I was curious how sex would be like with him and after the deed, I was dissapointed and disgusted. My body never became repulsed like that before I mean I was literally gagging and felt vomit in my throat. Not a good sign of a relationship kids! So after that, I knew it was over. Plus, I was still chilling with Hector and I sleep with Hector as well. Whorish? possibly. It was wrong to do that I know but I did come clean and told him about sleeping with my ex. I did feel guilty about it but......